Hier matin, je depose ma Prunelle a la creche, le petit calin, et hop, je fonce… Je cours, je vooole…. C’est bon ! J’y suis: pas besoin d’attendre le prochain metro. Uuuf… Afin de me remettre de mon effort physique (25 metres en courant… Ok, c’est pas le tourmalet en bicyclette… mais je ne prends pas d’EPO moi ! Comment ca, je suis de mauvaise foi ?), afin de me remettre de mon effort physique, donc, je m’assois.

A cote d’une etudiante branchee a ses ecouteurs. Parfait. Je n’aime pas les voisins bruyants qui essaient de discuter: moi je suis un peu completement associale: j’aime bien lire mon bouquin tranquille.

Station suivante: entrent deux charmantes madames, qui s’installent en face de nous. Et merde. Deux pipelettes. De celles qui parlent beaucoup, tres fort, et en meme temps. OK, j’abandonne. Impossible de me concentrer sur mon livre de poche.

« Blablabla, la princesse Leatitia va avoir une autre fille blablabla…. »

A chaque station le metro se remplit: il est maintenant bonde, les couloirs commencent a etre envahis…

« Blablabla… moi j’utilise du bicarbonate de soude, c’est super efficace blablabla… »

Bercee par le doux ronron de mes voisines + le bercement du metro… Je sens que je vais plonger…

« Blablabla… non mais tu te rends compte, elle lui a dit ca comme ca blablabla… »

Quand tout a coup, au gre des entrees et sorties des voyageurs, arrive a notre hauteur une jeune femme, la trentaine, un peu enveloppee. Elle s’accroche a mon fauteuil.

« blablabla… Oh ! Mais vous voulez vous asseoir ? Prenez ma place ! »

Merde ! Elle est enceinte ? J’aurais pu faire attention quand meme…!

« Non, non, merci. » Un peu sechement.

Merde: elle n’est pas enceinte…

« Si, si ! J’insiste ». D’ailleurs, ca y est, ma voisine s’est deja levee. « On sait ce que c’est, hein ! »

Merde: ma voisine n’a rien compris…

« Non merci. »

Merde: c’est genant, la ! La pauvre…

« Allons !! Allez, asseyez vous. C’est un garcon ou une fille ? »

Merde: je reve ! Ma voisine n’a TOUJOURS RIEN COMPRIS et en plus elle est TRES LOURDE.

« Merci. Je ne suis pas enceinte ».

« Oooh… »

Ma voisine a enfin compris. Elle se rassoit. Plus personne ne parle… Un gros silence bien pesant s’installe… Mmmm, je vais enfin pouvoir lire tranquille !!

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