PLEEEIN DE JUDICIEUX CONSEILS POUR MON BÉBÉ…

Créé par le 14 fév 2007 | Dans : Au jour le jour....

Alors moi, ce qui m’hooooorrripile, c’est que, sous pretexte que vous etes novice,TOUT LE MONDE VOUS DONNE DES CONSEILS.

Et quand je dis TOUT LE MONDE, je me refere au monde entier. Y compris mon beau-pere (qui a tenu dans ses bras 3 bebes au cours de sa vie, les siens, le jour de leurs naissances respectives, c’est a dire il y a 37, 36 et 30 ans. Oui.)
Et c’est tres dur.
Si encore, tout le monde etait d’accord…..! Mais non. En general, la scene classique c’est plutot:

ACTE 1 : Prunelle se met a hurler comme un goret. Un cri tres persistant, dans les aigus, tout a fait insupportable…

Mr J’y Connais Rien mais je donne mon avis (On gardera JCR): Mais elle a faim cette petite, il faut lui preparer son biberon… ! Ah, Ah ! Qu’est ce qu’il t’arrive Prunelle: ils ne te nourrissent pas tes parents ?
Mme J’ai Raison (JR): Nooon…. Elle a sommeil… Le mieux, c’est de la laisser pleurer…. Vous allez mal l’habituer cette petite a toujours la porter. Allez Prunelle, au lit. Ca suffit maintenant.
Mme Quand Meme (QM): Quand meme, elle aurait pas la couche sale ? Hein Prunelle, tu as fait caca ? Elle a fait caca la petite Prunelle ? Ou il est le caca de Prunelle ???

La, vous aussi vous commencez a avoir envie de pleurer…

ACTE 2: Prunelle, a bout de forces, finit par se taire. Elle est de la meme couleur qu’Aspirine, mon poisson rouge (rouge, hein, pas blanche ! « Aspirine » c’etait pour deconner !).

JCR: Ah ! Et be Prunelle, t’as plus faim ? Comment ca se fait que tu as pu faim ? (normalement, il commence a aller tripoter le landau…. pour bien verifier qu’elle a plus faim bien sur). C’est fou ca, elle avait faim, et d’un coup ca lui passe. Enfin, on lui aurait donne le bibi, elle l’aurait pris, ca c’est sur, on voyait bien qu’elle avait faim cette petite.
JR: Vous voyez: il faut les laisser pleurer les gosses, sinon vous ne vous en sortirez pas. Moi de mon temps, on les laissait pleurer, et personne n’en est mort. Enfin, vous faites comme vous voulez, mais si vous voulez l’eduquer correctement….
QM: Quand meme, on devrait peut-etre lui changer la couche, pour qu’elle dorme avec une couche propre. Sinon elle va avoir les fesses irritees.

Bon, a ce stade-la, ce qui est le plus irrite, c’est moi…. On continue:

ACTE 3: Prunelle, qui en fait se taisait parce qu’elle reprenait son souffle, se remet a hurler de plus belle….

JCR: AAAAAAAAAH !!! VOUS VOYEZ BIEN QU’ELLE A FAIM !!!!
JR: Et voila… Vous la reprenez dans les bras…. Ah ca, elle a bien compris le truc…. Vous allez rien en faire de cette petite.
QM: Quand meme, vous etes sur qu’elle a pas de la fievre ? Parce que pleurer comme ca…..

Bref, vous finissez par craquer: soit vous etes chez vous et vous mettez tout le monde dehors ; soit vous n’etes pas chez vous et vous pliez bagages.Et normalement, a ce moment la, il y a la bonne ame qui arrive, toute preoccupee, et qui vous demande: « Mais qu’est ce qu’elle a ??? »

J’EN SAIS RIEN MOI, COMMENT VOULEZ-VOUS QUE JE SACHE CE QU’ELLE A !! C’EST UN BEBE, ELLE NE PARLE PAS ENCORE !! SI JE SAVAIS CE QU’ELLE A ELLE NE HURLERAIT PAS COMME CA !!! Tant pis. Vous avez craque. Vous pouvez toujours dire que c’est les hormones…….. ?

DITES MOI QUE JE NE SUIS PAS LA SEULE !!!!!

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PRUNELLE A UNE COUSINE !!

Créé par le 30 jan 2007 | Dans : Au jour le jour....

Prunelle a une cousine !!

La princesse vient de tomber de son trone dore: un deuxieme bebe vient d’arriverUuuf ! Il etait temps ! Enfin, je dis un bebe… ? Un lapereau plutot. 2,6kg. Prunelle, a cote, fait un peu figure de Bouda, avec ses 7,5kg, et ses grands sourires…

C’est marrant de voir ces jeunes parents, completement desempares, des cernes monstrueuses sous les yeux… Cet air un peu perdu de je-ne-comprends-pas-on-ne-m’avait-pas-prevenu quand leur petite Prunelle-a-eux se met a hurler comme un chat a qui on aurait coince la queue dans une portiere de voiture…

Ah, ah !! Eux non plus ils ne savent pas pourquoooooi !!!!!!

Et quand Bebe se met a reclamer sa pitance durement gagnee, et que Papa & Maman viennent de se rendre compte qu’ils ont oublie de mettre a steriliser le bibi ??
« Et m….. Combien de temps ca prend, deja, ce truc ? 12 minutes ? ».
Et la princesse de hurler, pendant que Maman berce Bebe le plus doucement possible… Elle souffre, elle souffre aussi Maman, elle ne sait pas quoi faire:

1) Prendre le risque d’intoxiquer son enfant et le faire perir dans d’atroces souffrances en lui donnant son lait dans un bibi NON STERILISE, ou bien bien…
2) Voir son bebe deperir, s’affaiblir, se vider de son energie, en pleurant des vraies larmes, la douleur de la faim lui tordant ses tout petits boyaux, pendant ces 12 looooongues, tres longues minutes…

Le dilemme.

Ah, ah !! Et quand le divin-enfant, le Dieu-Lapereau fait son petit caca, et qu’ils s’y mettent a deux pour le changer ?? Hi, hi, je rigole ! Des bleus ! Ca me rappelle la premiere fois qu’on a change Prunelle, a la maternite ! Deux poules qui auraient trouve un saxophone…. Heureusement, Prunelle etait super patiente ! « Euuuuh… Non, attends, tiens lui cette jambe plutot, voilaaaa… Merde, ou elles sont les lingettes ? »

Conclusion: Ca me rassure: les cousins, eux aussi, ils ont l’air un peu depasses par les evenements ! Dire que maintenant je suis capable de changer d’une seule main une couche-surprise-qui-deborde, pendant que je reponds au telephone de l’autre : « Celia, quoi ? Elle a fait un caca jaune ??? Noooooon, t’inquiete pas: tant qu’il n’y a pas de sang dans les selles, c’est pas grave. »
Ah, ah ! Des bleus je vous dis !

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SPONSORING…

Créé par le 26 jan 2007 | Dans : Au jour le jour....

Prunelle et moi avons le grand plaisir de vous annoncer l’ouverture OFFICIELLE du boguiblog de Super-Mamoune !

Vernissage virtuel ce 26 janvier, a 19h, avec champagne et petits fours SVP ! Virtuels, le champagne et les petits fours, hein !?!

Et oui, je l’ai finalement contaminee: elle se lance elle aussi dans l’aventure…

http://tchoupinette.unblog.fr/

ET VOILA !

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VOUS ÊTES ENCEINTE ? TOUT CE QUE VOUS DEVEZ SAVOIR…

Créé par le 18 jan 2007 | Dans : Groooossesse

Voila, vous etes enceinte. Alors, betement, vous pensez: « Ca y est, ma vie va completement changer dans 9 mois et des brouettes » (NDLR: pourquoi « des brouettes » ? La langue francaise est pleine de surprises…)

Et bien non, c’est erreur grossiere. Votre vie va changer AVANT.

En effet, jusqu’a present, vous etiez une femme. Maintenant vous etes un femme-enceinte. Une femme avec un gros ventre, quoi. Et, au fur et a mesure que votre ventre s’arrondit, vous allez devenir un ventre avec, accessoirement, une femme autour… Voui, voui.

Petit a petit, vous allez voir comment change l’attitude des gens a votre egard… Vous allez devenir une sorte de gros porte-bonheur. Une amulette, quoi !

Par exemple, les gens ne vous regardent plus dans les yeux. Ils ne vous voient plus. Ils ne voient plus que votre bidou-porte-bonheur.
Quand mon ventre et moi partions nous balader, TOUT LE MONDE me jetait un oeil. Enfin, pas a moi… A Bidou… Et si apres le petit coup d’oeil ils me regardaient dans les yeux, ils me faisaient un sourire. Au debut je verifiais: braguette ouverte ?? Mmmm ? Non.
En fait, c’etait juste un sourire de « J’ai envie de te sourire »… ! Ca choque au debut, on n’est pas habitue ! C’etait un peu comme si mes 10kg de pur bonheur (Ok. Mes 10 kg de « surplus ponderal temporaire ») et mon sourire d’une oreille a l’autre etaient contagieux.

Autre chose: si comme moi vous aimez lire, tranquille, dans le metro, sachez que c’est une activite desormais impossible. Il y a toujours quelqu’un qui, apres 5 minutes de coups d’oeil intensifs a Bidou-Amulette finit par se mettre a vous parler: « C’est un garcon ou une fille ? » « Vous etes enceinte de combien ? » « Il bouge pas trop ?« , etc, etc…
En tant que future maman-responsable, il n’est absolument pas envisageable de se mettre a hurler: « AAAAARGH !!! Mais je ne vais jamais y arriver a le finir ce bouquin ?? Ca ne se voit pas que je suis associaaaaale !!? De toute facon, on ne va jamais se revoir !!!!!« .
Non.
Ni « Une-fille-sept-mois-elle-bouge-un-peu-surtout-le-soir. Point-barre. »
Nooooon. Vous etes enceinte jusqu’aux oreilles, donc vous etes sympathique. C’est comme ca !

Enfin, le plus dur, c’est quand vous parlez avec quelqu’un que vous connaissez (un peu). Il vous regarde droit dans le ventre, donc… Et en general il craque. Il finit par le toucher. Comme pour verifier. « C’est pas possible un truc pareil, c’est forcement truque un bide enorme comme ca« . Et bien non. On se sent un peu comme la lampe magique d’Aladin… C’est un peu genant… Imaginez-vous entrain de parler avec Stephane, le comptable du 4eme que vous croisez 3 fois par an a la machine a cafe, et que tout a coup, il vous touche le ventre… emoticone

Et puis la, forcement, TOUT LE MONDE SENT LE BEBE BOUGER. Ca les rend heureux, vous ne pouvez pas savoir ! Moi je me sentais obligee de mentir: « Voooui, un peu, la, sur le cote, peut-etre… »

Conclusion: Finalement, se sentir, comme ca, responsable du sourire de quelqu’un, un sourire serein, un vrai sourire, parce qu’il a vu quelquechose qui lui a paru joli, qui lui a rappele des choses peut-etre… Et bien ce n’est pas desagreable…!

Dans ma prochaine vie, je veux etre un trefle a 4 feuilles !

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LE CHALLENGE DE LA SOIRÉE.

Créé par le 11 jan 2007 | Dans : Au jour le jour....

Ce soir, seance rodeo coupage des ongles de Prunelle.

Il fallait le faire… Vraiment trop longs. Du coup, elle griffe !
La tache me revient, vu que mon mari a une technique bien particuliere pour regler ce probleme (elle me griffe les bras quand je lui donne le bibi, donc… je mets un pull. Sans commentaire)…
Je n’avais plus que 2 options: ou bien les mettre en valeur style c’est-fait-expres-ces-griffes-super-longues et lui passer du vernis dessus (rouge passion par exemple), ou proceder a l’operation bouge-pas-Prunelle-plus-que-neuf-doigts.

Ufff… Pas simple. Mais bon. On y est arrive !

A propos… Vous en pensez quoi, vous ?

A votre avis... Qu'est ce qui est le plus difficile ? Mmm ?

Voir les résultats

Chargement ... Chargement ...

Moi, j’ai mon idee….

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HIIIIIIIIIIIIII !!?

Créé par le 10 jan 2007 | Dans : Au jour le jour....

dancingbaby.gif WAAAAAOUH !!!

10.000 visites ?? Ca merite bien une ola, non ?

Alors, je…, heu… Je suis tres emue… Heu… Je voudrais remercier Maman, Choup, les marmottes, et toutes les petites fees qui viennent cliquer 10 fois par jour sur mon bloguiblog pour me faire des visites (Maman, arrete !)… Heu… Je suis tres emue… Voila, merci.

Voila.

Et je voudrais remercier aussi tous ceux qui se sont perdus, et sont malencontreusement tombes sur mes divagations de jeune-maman-qui-ne-dort-pas-beaucoup-excusez-moi… !!

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NOUS REVOILÀ !

Créé par le 09 jan 2007 | Dans : Au jour le jour....

Bonjour tout le monde ! Eh oui, on revient sur les ondes… Le temps de se remettre de ces fetes… Premier Noel de Prunelle !!!

Il faut croire que mon petit chat a ete TRES SAGE, puisqu’elle a eu, je pense, plus de jouets que l’ensemble des enfants du continent africain. Moooui. Le monde est mal fait.

En plus, il faut savoir qu’un bebe de 6 mois (voooui !! 1/2 annee deja !) aime par dessus… LE PAPIER CADEAU. Le magnifique ours en peluche a l’interieur ne presente que peu d’interet finalement. OK: il a les oreilles qui font du bruit, un pouet pouet cache dans la truffe, un grelot dans chaque pattes, et quand on appuie sur son ventre, il fait de la musique…

ET ALORS ? Le papier, c’est magique: vous pouvez le prendre, le secouer de toutes vos forces avec de grands gestes, le mettre a la bouche, le froisser, le dechirer, le mettre a la bouche, le remettre a la bouche (pour si vous n’etes pas sur du gout encore), le jeter par terre, le re-remettre a la bouche, etc… Alors, votre ours, merci bien !

Sinon, nous avons ramene de notre soiree du Nouvel An un enorme ballon gonfle a l’helium pour Prunelle. Pour se sentir moins coupables de l’avoir laissee ? Mmmm ? Toujours est-il que ledit ballon a remporte un TRES VIF SUCCES. Ah ! Il fallait voir notre Prunelle, agrippee a l’engin (plus gros qu’elle, oui, on n’a pas fait dans la demi-mesure…), le secouer dans tous les sens comme une sauvage…
On a fait une petite fille delicate, c’est tres net.
Enfin… On a eu un peu peur, on a vu le moment ou il fallait le ramener a la maison. Je vois le tableau d’ici: le break etant plein comme un oeuf, il ne nous restait plus que l’option suivante: l’accrocher a l’antenne de la voiture, et parcourir ainsi les quelques 700km pour rentrer a la maison… En forme de bouteille de champagne, le ballon. Faites des momes, qu’ils disent !

Enfin… On est pret, on attaque la nouvelle annee sereinement. Une annee pleine de challenges: avoir les premiere dents, apprendre a s’asseoir, a marcher a 4 pattes, puis a 2 pattes, dire « Maman » (HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!), arreter de cracher la puree de carottes a 2 metres a la ronde quand on mange, apprendre a tirer les cheveux de la petite fille qui griffe a la creche…etc, etc…

Conclusion: Y’a du boulot !

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2007, VOUS ÊTES SÛRS ?

Créé par le 08 jan 2007 | Dans : Au jour le jour....

Prunelle se joint a moi pour vous souhaiter une annee 2007…

RESPLENDISSANTE !!

happynewyear.gif

Waaaouh…2007: j’ai l’impression d’etre dans le futur !?

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LA MAGIE DE NOËL A FRAPPÉ !

Créé par le 24 déc 2006 | Dans : Au jour le jour....

Hier soir, comme tous les soirs depuis 1 semaine, alors que je preparais avec amour une puree Carotte & Pomme de Terre pour ma Prunelle, je me sentais deja pleine de desespoir en pensant au match qui allait suivre…
La cuisine etait bachee, le telephone decroche, Prunelle bien coincee dans sa chaise haute (pour ne pas qu’elle s’echappe !)… Nous etions pretes. D’ailleurs, je pense que la chaise haute, c’est une erreur: Prunelle a une portee beaucoup plus ample lorqu’elle se met a cracher…
Bref. J’enfile le bavoir en plastique geant (celui avec des manches… oui, il faut bien ca pour les purees)… et… rien. Tiens, bizarre. Normalement, Prunelle commence a hurler a ce moment la.

Et la, j’approche la premiere petite cuillere… ET ELLE OUVRE LA BOUCHE ! Je me prepare donc a la petite pluie fine de puree qui devrait suivre…. ET LA, ELLE AVALE ! Voui, messieurs dames, comme je vous dis: elle ne recrache rien ! Je tombe des nues. Et je manque de m’evanouir de bonheur quand ELLE REOUVRE LA BOUCHE !!!

En 14 minutes, Prunelle a devore sa puree. Sans rien recracher. Le bonheur etait tel dans notre maisonnee que mon mari a filme l’evenement. On a donc enregistre pour la posterite ma Prunelle, de la puree jusqu’aux oreilles, la bouche grande ouverte, avec en fond sonore les commentaires de sa maman, au bord des larmes: « Il est fort mon bebe, ah il est fort mon petit chat, mmmm c’est bon la puree, hein Prunelle, tu trouves ca drolement bon la puree, tu manges comme une grande mon chat-peau pointu ! Mmmm ! », etc, etc…

Conclusion: Maintenant j’en suis sure: L’ESPRIT DE NOEL EXISTE ! Je ne vois pas d’autre explication possible a ce changement miraculeux. Ou bien la faim peut-etre ? Une semaine qu’elle ne mangeait rien le soir…
Allez savoir…

Bon Noel a tous !

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JE DETESTE LES COMPOTES.

Créé par le 22 déc 2006 | Dans : Au jour le jour....

Uuuuf…. Les messages ne sont plus aussi frequents, hein ??

Entre la reprise du boulot, les visites quotidiennes chez le pediatre + L’INTRODUCTION DES COMPOTES ET PUREES DANS LA NOURRITURE DE PRUNELLE, le temps disponible devient en denree RARE. Il me faut donc respecter un certain ordre des priorites.
Par exemple les activites sanitaires basiques telles que me brosser les dents ou m’epiler sont + importantes que le blog (si un jour on m’avait que je considererais que ca fait partie de mon « temps libre » !!). Par contre aujourd’hui, j’estime que la vaisselle pourra attendre. Apres la cession d’UNE HEURE (montre en main), pour arriver a faire avaler 4 petites cuilleres de compote de pomme a Prunelle, j’estime que j’ai droit a une petite 1/2 heure. Pour faire n’importe quoi. Crier, tiens, par exemple. Ou bien pianoter rageusement sur mon clavier. Ca lui apprendra.

Et oui, le moment beni des premieres purees est arrive. Ce moment si mignon, ou les enfants apprennent a manger a la cuillere, ils en mettent partout, ils recrachouillent, ils tripatouillent… Voila. Sauf que PRUNELLE A DECIDE QU’ELLE NE VOULAIT PAS MANGER. Elle a bien compris comment fonctionne le bibi, et le reste ne l’interesse absolument pas.

Donc… elle n’ouvre pas la bouche. Solution simple, mais efficace. Elle pince biiiiien les levres, et elle me regarde avec un air de « N’Y PENSE MEME PAS » qui me fait un peu peur. Ah ! Quand elle a une idee… Ca va etre sportif quand elle aura 13 ans, je vois ca d’ici…

Donc Mademoiselle n’ouvre pas la bouche. Elle serre les levres, elle serre… Enfin, moi je m’en fous. J’ai un allie de poids. Le rhume. Et oui. Surtout, ne pas la moucher avant de commencer a manger. Comme ca vient un moment ou elle craque. Et je lui enfourne sournoisement de la compote. Qu’elle recrache en petite pluie fine, fine, fine… Puis elle resserre les levres, j’attends qu’elle respire, j’enfourne, petite pluie fine, levres pincees… etc, etc… C’est bien, comme ca on est assorti: en ce moment, elle est couverte de boutons. Donc elle, elle est mouchetee de boutons, et moi je suis mouchetee de compote. Assorties, je vous dis. Le souci du detail. C’est ca qui est important. Sinon lisez le livre de Victoria Beckam sur « comment etre tendance » (emoticone J’avoue. J’ai feuillete a la Fnac pour rigoler… Et vraiment, je le recommande. C’est drole).

Enfin, elle a plusieurs cordes a son arc. Prunelle, hein, pas Victoria. Ne croyez pas que le « pince de levres » soit sa seule tactique. Nous avons aussi…

La tactique du « AAAAAH !!! J’AI MAAAAL »: elle se met a hurler comme un goret, en poussant le vice jusqu’a se faire devenir violette. Au debut, le stress: compote trop froide ? trop chaude ? Avale de travers ? Allergie ? Non. Juste une crise. Tactique suivante SVP.

Le classique « ATTENTION… JE VOMIS. »Maintenant je la sens venir. Quand tout a coup elle rechigne moins, qu’elle entrouve plus ou moins la bouche, que j’arrive a lui caser 3 ou 4 petites cuilleres d’affilee, je sais a quoi je m’expose…

La tactique du « J’AI TERRIBLEMENT SOMMEIL »: elle s’endort. Mon oeil. En meme temps, c’est celle qui marche le mieux. Vous avez deja essaye de faire manger un bebe qui fait semblant de dormir qui dort ? En meme temps, peut etre qu’elle a vraiment sommeil. Rester en apnee pendant 1/4 d’heure, ca fini par epuiser.

Conclusion: Ah, ca occupe une Prunelle !
Enfin, ce qui me rassure, c’est que je ne connais aucun adolescent qui refuse de manger autrement qu’au biberon… Je pense donc que nous aussi nous allons y arriver… Vite… J’espere… Siouple….

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